


it has to hurt before it starts to heal

by malecflowers



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, M/M, Stabbing, angst as fuck, honestly just a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:23:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9693671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecflowers/pseuds/malecflowers
Summary: tumblr prompt from wolfypuppypiles: Helen shows up to save the boys but Ryan has already hurt Philip. Ryan stabs Philip in the stomach. Lukas freaks out.





	

The woods were dark and damp and Helen could feel herself sweating through her shirt as she ran through the trees, searching for Philip. She knew it was probably pointless, but she tried calling out for Philip anyway.

 

“Philip?!”  
There was a pause, three seconds at the most, but time seemed to slow down and it felt like hours before she heard it.  
“Helen!”

 

Helen hadn’t expected Philip to respond when she called out to him, but he did, and she wasted no time running towards his voice. The logical part of her brain, the part that was a cop, told her that it was likely a trap. Ryan was most likely trying to lure her out there so he could kill her, but she didn’t care because the other part of her brain, the part that was a mother, Philip’s mother, just wanted to get to her boy so she could protect him.  
She made it to the clearing here Ryan and Philip were, gun raised and ready to shoot if necessary. Ryan had Philip standing in front of him, like he was trying to use him as a shield. He didn’t seem like he was holding Philip there, but he didn’t have to. His gun looked like it was holding Philip in place with how it pressed against his side, but his other hand was on Philip’s shoulder. After a moment it moved down so it was behind his back and Helen couldn’t see it anymore but she assumed it was still being used to hold Philip in place.  
Philip was crying and hunched over slightly and Ryan had an intense look on his face.  
There was a long pause. For a while no one moved or made a noise except for Philip’s sniffling and Helen’s heavy breathing. After a minute or two Ryan made a move, he dropped his gun and spoke to Philip, “go. Go!”  
Ryan shoved Philip forward and the terrified boy started walking towards Helen, but he didn’t make it far before his legs gave out after a particularly shaky step. He fell to the ground, unable to hold himself up with his hands bound. 

 

What Helen hadn’t noticed yet was Ryan’s other hand, the one holding a bloody knife that he’d pulled out of his pocket, and the dark stain spreading across the left side of Philip’s shirt.  
Time seemed to shift again, but this time it seemed to speed up. The next few minutes went by so fast Helen wasn’t sure if it had actually happened or if she’d just imagined it. One second she was looking at Philip’s crumpled body lying in the grass and the next she was looking at Ryan’s body lying in a similar way. Her gun raised, finger still holding the trigger down, ears still ringing from the sound of the gunshot. 

 

The next ten or so minutes was a blur. Helen tried to keep Philip conscious until the ambulance showed up to take him away. And once he was gone she didn’t move against until Gabe showed up and pulled her out of her haze with his tight grip on her shoulder and calming words.

 

The next thing she remembers clearly is sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, Gabe on her left and Tony on her right. Bo was sitting across from him with his head resting against his wrists. Gabe was the only one of them that didn’t have blood on his hands, and no one was willing to leave long enough to wash it all off because then they might miss some news. A nurse had brought them some wipes but they didn’t do much, just spread the blood around and left the wipes a light pink colour.  
Bo had mumbled to himself for the last twenty minutes Even though no one could hear exactly what he was saying they all just assumed it had something to do with the fact that he’d just found out his son was gay and almost lost him, all in the same day and decided it would probably be best to leave him alone for now.  
It had been hours and there was still no news on either boy. Lukas had been awake and talking when they wheeled him back into the ER, but Philip was unconscious and still bleeding heavily. 

 

After another restless hour had passed someone finally came out to give them news. Lukas was fine, just a bit weak, and Philip would be okay, but he’d lost a lot of blood and was still unconscious. It wasn’t exactly the best news any of them had ever heard, but with the way they all let out heavy sighs of relief and sunk back into their chairs you would think it was the best news anyone could ever hear, and in a way it kind of was. They might still be hurting, but both of the boy would be okay and that was all that mattered.  
Bo went back to see Lukas and everyone else finally let themselves relax enough to take turns in the bathroom, cleaning as much of the blood of their hands and clothing as they could. In the end Gabe decided to make the drive back to Tivoli to get fresh clothing for everyone when they realised they couldn’t scrub the blood out of their shirts.  
After that it was just a matter of waiting for Philip to wake up, so it was a long night of bad hospital coffee and dozing off in the stiff hospital chairs. The only time anyone moved to do more than use that bathroom was when Helen went to question Lukas and Bo went to get food.

 

When Philip woke up to was dark and everything felt fuzzy. His entire left side of his back was numb and his head felt like someone had taken a hammer to it. He made the mistake of trying to sit up, not realising he had a stab wound in his side.  
Philip fell back on the bed, groaning and holding his side. He didn't really remember much from the incident that happened with Ryan. All he remembered was fear, blinding, crippling fear. He vaguely remembered feeling pain and collapsing on the ground, but almost everything had been overtaken by how scared he was so he wasn't sure what had happened.  
He looked around the room and when he realised he was alone he pressed the button to call in the nurse. It took a few moments, but eventually a nurse did come in, but by then Philip had forgotten all about the pain in his side and remembered the last time he was Lukas, bleeding out in Ryan's trunk.  
Upon seeing he was awake, the nurse tried to ask him questions and check his bandages but Philip wouldn't cooperate, he just kept asking the same thing over and over.  
"Where is Lukas? Is he okay? What happened?"  
He had to ask a few times before anyone actually replied. It wasn't until his doctor came in to see him almost an hour later that he got any real answers.  
"Hello, I'm your doctor. I understand you have questions and I promise I will answer all of them but first I need you to tell me how you're feeling and what all you remember. Can you do that for me?"  
Philip nodded and took a deep breath. He gave himself a moment, closing his eyes and silently praying that everything was okay. He opened his eyes and looked up at his doctor, "I feel fine, other than the fact that my head hurts like hell. And I don't remember much. I went to my house with Lukas because..."  
That's when it hit him, why did Ryan have his moms phone?  
"Because?"  
"Because I got texts from my mom saying she needed me... But I guess it wasn't my mom, it was him."  
The doctor nodded and motioned for him to continue. "Right so we got inside and saw him and tried to get away but I think he hit me with something because then everything goes black and next thing I know I'm waking up in a trunk to the sound of revving engines and Helen screaming at someone."  
Philip took a deep breath. He had to remind himself that he wasn't in the trunk anymore, that he was safe. Then he continued, "And then we drove for a while and the last thing I remember clearly is seeing the man as he pulled me out of the trunk and seeing Lukas when I looked back. He looked rough, he was bleeding and he hadn't woken up so I wasn't sure if he was even alive. I didn't really have much time to think about it though because everything got taken over by this intense feeling of fear and panic as soon as I saw his gun."  
Philip felt himself wince and he closed his eyes. He felt so stupid, having to stop every few sentences because he had to calm himself down again.  
He wasn't allowed to fall apart, he never had been, and he hated that it was taking so much effort to keep it together now.  
After a minute or two of deep breathing he opened his eyes again and finished his story. "He held the gun to the back of my head as we walked and I remember praying silently to anyone who would listen. I'm not religious, never have been, but in that moment I was actually begging God to let me live.  
"We got to a clearing and he held me so I was standing in front of him. I don't really remember after that except the cold feeling of his gun pressed against my rib, seeing Helen and hearing her voice call my name, and a warm feeling in my other side. I vaguely remember pain, but not where it was coming from if that makes any sense. And I'm pretty sure he made me call out for Helen so she could find us." Philip paused for a moment, trying to remember if he'd forgotten anything, "Oh, and I remember falling, but not hitting the ground. Everything went black before I hit the ground."  
The doctor nodded, "okay well everything seems okay. You had a small concussion and you've been stabbed in the ribs but you'll be okay, don't worry. Other than that you're doing okay physically. Now I understand you have some questions?"  
Philip nodded and suddenly found himself very nervous. "How's Lukas? The boy I came here with."  
"Oh, your boyfriend? He's perfectly fine, he just pulled a couple of stitches. I can get him for you?" Philip nodded quickly.  
"Okay, I'll be right back," and with that he left.  
It didn't take long for the doctor to come back, but it was long enough that Philip started to freak out a little. Not just because of everything that had happened but because the doctor had called him Lukas's boyfriend. Had he missed something? He didn't think Lukas was going to tell anyone about them any time soon.  
Luckily he didn't have to wonder for long because before he knew it the doctor was back with Lukas in tow. When he saw Philip, the blonde boy ran over to the bed and wrapped his arms around Philip.  
Philip winced and tried to shift away when Lukas put too much pressure on his hurt side. Lukas loosened his grip and pulled back.  
"I'm sorry. I was just so worried."  
Philip nodded. He remembered exactly what it felt like. It had only been a week since Lukas was in a coma after being shot. Or at least he thought it had only been a week, but Lukas was on his feet and looking better than he had when they were last safe in the motel.  
"How long was I out?" Philip asked. He raised his good arm and reached up to brush his fingers against Lukas's chest near the bullet wound.  
"Not that long, three days. They said you'd lost a lot of blood and you might be out for a while."  
Philip nodded again and took a moment to breathe before he asked his next question. Deep down he already knew the answer, but until he heard it from someone else he refused to believe it could be true.  
"My mom... He had her phone. Did he...?"  
Lukas froze and glanced back at the doctor who, in turn, nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. Lukas turned back to Philip and sighed. "I'm sorry Philip... She's gone."

 

It felt like Philip's entire world was shifting. His mom was dead. But she couldn't be, right? There's just no way.  
Philip didn't want to accept it. He want to yell, to accuse Lukas of lying, but somewhere deep down he knew that Lukas would never do that to him. He knew Lukas was telling the truth, but it hurt too much to accept it. So instead of fighting it he settled for slumping forward and letting Lukas hold him close as he cried.

 

He didn't move again until he had to, and then it was only to shift over so that Lukas could slide into the bed with him and hold him closer.  
He let Lukas hold him and he tried to focus on the fact that Lukas lost his mother too and he isn't still being crushed by grief, but every time he thought about it he just remember Lukas telling he that he could barely remember his mother. That just made him cry even more because he knew that one day that would be him and his mother would just be photos and stories and vague memories that only he bothered to keep. She wasn't special to anyone but Philip and so she wouldn't be remembered as anything more than a name carved into a piece of marble.  
Philip had spent his entire life watching out for his mom and now he suddenly felt like he didn’t really have a purpose anymore. 

 

Eventually a nurse came in and gave them both something to calm them down and help them sleep. She didn’t say anything about how they were sharing one bed, which was definitely against the rules considering how severe their injuries were. Philip assumed no one was willing to separate them after what they’d gone through, but Lukas knew it was really because Lukas had a breakdown when they told him Philip had been hurt.  
They both fell asleep curled up together in Philip’s hospital bed and for a little while everything was okay.

 

The next morning brought a fresh wave of pain for both boys, though Philip’s was worse, and the nurse finally made Lukas move so that she could change their bandages. Lukas still refused to leave Philip’s side though, even though that meant he had to sit in the uncomfortable chair placed next to the bed.  
Once the nurses were gone and the police and FBI finished questioning them and they were able to get a minute alone again Lukas moved the chair closer to the bed and took Philip’s hand. They didn’t speak at all, but they didn’t have to.  
Philip still felt like he was drowning in his grief and Lukas still had no idea how he was going to face the world as a gay man, but if they was anything that they both knew for sure it was that they could face whatever the world decided to throw at them as long as they still had each other.


End file.
